#8 The Pledge of Allegiance

Pledge of Allegiance

The photo above was taken Wednesday, January 12, 2011. My model was my dearest little sister Sara. In this picture she is holding a paper with the words of the Pledge of Allegiance printed on it but after the part where it says "with liberty and justice for all" there is a red * and under that sentence is the sentence "*unless you're gay."

The reason why I decided to use my 10 year old sister instead of one of my classmates is because it represents that if parents, adults and other people say that something is bad or wrong that children do listen and are influenced by our words and actions. The reason I put "*unless you're gay" at the end is because many people feel that because the LGBT community doesn't have the same rights as a straight person that our nation is not as free and just as we say it is. I originally wanted to shoot in the Grand Theatre but I felt that the background of the school may make the photo more interesting and there would be more natural colors. For the editing I simply changed the contrast and used a tutorial to learn how to darken the edges of the picture.


This is usually the point in my blog that I would rant about how unfair and unjust society is but I really don't know what to say that I haven't said before. I often wonder how many people have to say one thing and how many times they have to say it for something to change. To be honest sometimes I can get so disappointed in my country. Don't get me wrong, I love living here, I love what I have and I'm thankful for it. But if you say "liberty and justice for all" and "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." people will hold you to that and will be extremely angry when their unalienable rights are violated. I know people will say that life isn't fair but when it says clear as day in black and white that this is how it is then that's how it should be! No excuses!


I hope you enjoy the picture
Till next time


Links:
The Declaration of Independence  

#7? It Gets Better

The picture above was inspired by all the people who submitted videos for the It Gets Better project. I would first like to say that in order to get all these pictures I had to watch every single one of these videos, take a screen capture, and edit them individually. Before I go on to talk about the picture I would like to give special thanks to:

Hilary Clinton,

Rob from Sydney, Australia,

Summer and Oscar,

Nick,

Wes Anderson,

Adam Lambert,

Brian,

David,

Sarah Silverman,

Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Eric Stonestreet,

President Obama,

Jewel,

Zachary Quinto,

Kermit the Frog,

"hauntednursery",

Jack from Taking Back Sunday,

Ryan James Yezak,

Terry and Dan,

Densil,

Ke$ha,

Margaret Cho,

Jill Craig and Shelly Taylor

Thank you all so much. Your videos and your kind words makes a difference and inspired me as well as others.

On to talking about the picture. One of the reasons why I wanted to do a picture about the It Gets Better Project is because at the time suicides committed by homosexual teenagers was a big thing on the news. It really upset me that these poor kids were bullied to death because of something they can't change. I wanted to let people know that it does actually get better and if the only way I can do that is through my art and photography then I'm going to do it. The first video that I watched was Ryan James Yezak's video for the It Gets Better project. That got me started on watching so many videos for the project. I thought "What if I took a screen-capture of everyone who made a video for the project and made a collage of all of them?" I think I was kind of in over my head though. I want to actually watch every video I included in it and because of that it would take me at least 5 minutes just to find a picture, sometimes even longer. After I took it I had to edit each individually. It just took way too long. I chose a few of my favorites and included them. A few of them are celebrities and the reason I included them is to show "Look, it's that really famous person, your idol, they've had problems too."

To be quite honest with myself I don't like it. I feel that there was no skill required to do this. It's plain. It's boring. It doesn't make me feel anything. I showed my mom and she said it was good but that's my mom so I don't think it really counts. I asked my friend Andrew, who has always been honest with me, what he thought about it and he said that he didn't like it as much as the others that I've done. My response to that was "Yeah, I think 'not one of my best works' might be a complement to this picture :/" I'm not sure if it gets the point that I'm trying to make across. I'm actually kind of disappointed in myself and I may not use this at all.

I get side tracked a lot when writing these reflections because I feel so strongly about the subject but this time I put it at the end. Yes, being a bisexual teen at this time isn't the easiest thing for me, especially when I know that some people won't accept me because of it, but I know that it will get better. Everything bad that has happened to me has made me a stronger, better person and in the end when I look back I think "Man, that was awful! That sucked! I never want to go through that again! But now I stand up for myself. Now I'm stronger. Now I see how other people feel." I believe everything happens for a reason. Maybe the reason those poor children died is because now people finally pay attention. Now people see that it actually hurts people! People are starting to take things more seriously and I think that's a good thing. Hopefully the people who committed suicide because of bullying will not die in vain. I know that I refuse to let them die in vain.

Please enjoy the links below

Bye :)

It Gets Better Project

Ryan James Yezak's blog

Why it Gets Better for LGBT Youth

What's Going On

Hey guys, it's been awhile. Sorry for not posting any new pictures lately but I promise you I'm working on them and I'm still alive. A lot of stuff has been going on lately. The holiday's are coming up and so are progress reports. This year has been one of the busiest and stressful years yet. I'm trying to keep my head above water so to speak. Trying to not drown in school work and chores. Unfortunately it has taken me away from what I love most which is photography. I'm hoping that during this break I'll be able to take more pictures. I have quite a few ideas. Here is a list of some of the ideas I have:

• Don't Ask Don't Tell: A soldier holding both the american flag and the gay flag
• Wedding Day: 2 women getting married while people are protesting it
• A student being told to take off a pro-gay shirt while another student has a shirt that says "God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve" 
  
• Children saying the pledge of allegiance under the US flag, words printed on a paper "for liberty and justice for all* ......... *unless you're gay"
• Last picture: group photo of all my non-straight models with someone holding up a sign that says "This is Who We Are"

So that's what you have to look forward to. I'm currently working on the It Gets Better collage. If I do all the photos above that'll put me to 13 pictures then I'll only need 2 more.

One of the other things that's been stressing me out is that I met most of the kids that I'll be traveling with to Australia. They're really nothing like me. Many, almost of them, are pretty rich. Almost all are white and look pretty conservative. I felt completely alone and no one talked to me. The only people I really talked to were the leaders and that was because we started talking about photography. Later in the car my mom told me that maybe I shouldn't tell them I'm bisexual because doesn't want me outcasted even more. I really agree with her too. I had a nightmare that they found out and hated me for it and did horrible things to me, then I got kicked out of the program. I'm probably making this a bigger deal then it actually is but I'm still terrified...

Well that's what's going on. Thank you to all my viewers especially those of you in other countries! I hope all of you enjoy my blog. More pictures are on the way!

Bye :D

#6 Gay Teen Suicide

"Gay Teen Suicide"

Fact: Suicide is 2 to 3 times higher for LGBT youth!
1 out of 3 queer kids have tried to kill themselves!
Kids rejected by their parents are 8 times more likely to kill themselves! 

The above photos are about gay teen suicide. When I heard about the suicides due to anti-gay bullying it really hurt my soul. I know how it is when a loved one attempts suicide but I can't imagine how much it must hurt for someone to lose a loved one due to suicide. One of the things that I hate about these recent news stories is that people are acting like this is something new. It's nothing new, this has been going on for a long time but I'm glad that it's finally getting attention and people are realizing that what they say can really affect someone. I can't really link you to any of the recent gay suicide stories because there are just so many to filter through and at the moment I just do not have the time, nor the heart, to do so.

In these images my model is Darrian. You remember her from last year in photo 1-2. For this shoot I did actually learn how to tie a noose knot and everything. I did not actually hang my model, I love her far too much to even consider it! The shot above was created by her holding onto a branch of a tree and I just realized that I should have included that tree trunk.... dang it.

The reason why I have 2 photos uploaded is that I could not decide which one to use and I really need some help picking. It would be very helpful if you could comment on this post and tell me which you like best. It's okay if you do it as an anon too. What makes it so hard to choose is that both the pictures were photoshopped the same way, the only thing that's different is that one is in black and white and the other's in color. Instead of telling you every step I went through when editing I'll just give you the link to what tutorial I used. I used a tutorial called Ghosting an Image. For the one that's in color I did things a little differently though. For the color one I only effected the legs and feet. A few people told me that I should edit out the person in the background but Ms. Miles actually likes the person back there. It kind of makes the viewer wonder "Why isn't the person in the back doing anything about it?!"

The feeling of these pictures is dark. But I'm not so sure......it some how doesn't feel dark enough to me. I'm considering re-shooting because I'm not 100% satisfied with my images from this shoot. I'm not quite satisfied because it almost looks like she's just jumping off the chair and I feel that it doesn't have that big of an impact on the viewer. Oh well. If I have time to re-shoot I will. I'm pretty excited about my next project though. I'm taking screenshots of everyone who has done a video for the It Gets Better Project, editing them at least 40% (so I can't get sued), and putting them together as a collage.

Well that's all for now

Check out the links below

Bye :3

Links:

Darrian's Photography Blog

Ghosting an Image

It Gets Better

#5 The American Dream

I shot these photos on Thursday, October 28, 2010. From left to right my models are Snapper Humphries, Demirae, Denmark, and Kyle Escobar. Kyle is Snapper's partner and Demirae and Denmark are their children that they adopted. I actually met Snapper the day of the shoot, that was the first time I had ever seen him. The way I met Snapper was through my mom. I told her that I needed models for a photo shoot and when I said that I needed a family she thought of Snapper. My mom is a surgery scheduler and Snapper works at Scripps Mercy and that's how they knew each other, although they never officially met.

Snapper and Kyle's story (how they adopted their children): I believe that when they adopted Denmark it was a normal adoption. But for Demirae it was a different story. One of the great things is that Denmark and Demirae are biological brother and sister. Snapper and Kyle had already adopted Denmark when one night they got a call from the hospital saying "The mother of your son just gave birth to a daughter, do you want her? If you want her you need to come get her right now." They rushed to the hospital and adopted Demirae. Snapper was holding Demirae's car seat and the nurses wheeled Snapper out in a wheelchair just like they do for the mothers. I find it sad that they were put up for adoption but I'm so happy that Snapper and Kyle adopted them. They have an adorable family.

I got the idea for this photo shoot when I saw an article reporting that homosexual couples can now adopt children in Florida. Some people believe that by allowing homosexual couples to adopt children that 2 things can happen 1. by being raised by homosexuals the child turns out being homosexual. I have a problem with that because not being straight is not a choice. You are born with it. Just how people are born straight people are born gay. The other thing that people think might happen is 2. the reason homosexual people adopt is because they are pedophiles and want a child to be a sex slave or something. Both of those beliefs are ridiculous! Just because you're not straight does not mean that you are a pedophile. I believe that gay people should have the right to adopt. It's best for the child to have a family than grow up all alone with no family. Gay people are the exact people who should adopt. They can't have their own children so what's so wrong with adoption?

Okay so now that I'm done ranting on to talking about the picture. I used the black background because 1. it's my favorite background, 2. I feel it looks nicer, and 3. it's much cleaner and you can't see footprints as well as you can on the white background. I had them sit on the red couch/stool thing because many of the family portraits I've seen the people are sitting down. My idea did change a bit but it did mostly stay the same. The only thing that changed was that instead of using tungsten lights Ms. Miles said that I should use strobe because of how small the children are and that children tend to fidget around a lot and can't keep still. By using the strobe I was able to stop the motion. I had never shot professional type family portraits so I wasn't really sure how to direct them. I first had Snapper and Kyle sitting on the couch thing while Snapper held Demirae and Kyle held Denmark. After a few of them like that I let them move around and position themselves and I'm happy I did that or else I wouldn't have gotten the shot above.

The feeling of this picture is actually happy! It'll probably be the happiest picture I have in my series. I can't find any dark side to this picture! It's just too adorable! The only "dark" part that people might find is that the parents are gay. But I can't find anything dark and depressing about it which is great! With the other shoots after I shot the pictures and when I was editing them I would get kind of depressed and just wish that things were different but with this picture I was so happy! I was like "Oh my god I love this family. It's so cute. Life is great. *Nods* Everything's going to be okay." It actually gave me more hope which I really needed. Unfortunately these happy pictures will not continue. My next photo shoot is about suicide...... But I hope you enjoyed the pictures!

Bye :D

Links:

Gay Adoption Ban in Florida Challenged

Banning Gay Adoption Hurts Children

#4 Matthew Shepard's Story

"Matthew Shepard's Story"

This image was also taken October 20, 2010. I titled this picture "Matthew Shepard's Story" because this actually happened in real life. His story is one of the worst stories I have ever heard and is the worst hate crime I know of. Matthew was 21 years old when he was murdered. Two men, Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson, drove Matthew to a strange location, beat him, tortured him, tied him to a fence, and left him to die. He was discovered by a cyclist, Aaron Kreifels, 18 hours later. He had first mistook him as a scarecrow. But by the time he discovered Matthew he was already in a coma. His injuries were horrible. People said that he was beaten so bad that his face was covered in blood except for the places where Matthew's tears had washed away the blood. To learn more about Matthew Shepard click here.

For this photo I used the rule of thirds to place Tam in the bottom right corner. I wrapped Tam's wrists in yarn and very loosely tied them to the fence. I made it clear to her that if she needed them loosened or needed to be untied at anytime to let me know. I had her slump down and asked her to look as limp as possible, to look as if she was dead. I had to edit this picture alot because I had accidently left my camera set to tongsten lighting instead of normal day light. The picture turned out blue so I fixed the color by going to color balance in photoshop. I also edited in some lighting with photoshops lighting effects. I have it lightest where Tam is because that is the part I want people to be focused on. News stories about Matthew Shepard had said that his face was covered in blood but I couldn't bear to put anymore bruised and bloody make up on her. At the end of this photo shoot I felt absolutely horrible. To see her like that was almost too much for me because I am so protective of her. I can't tell you how many nightmares I've had where she's about to be beaten and I try to protect her.

This image, like the past 3, has a pretty dark feeling to it. This is actually the only idea that I had that hadn't changed. I'm hoping that when people see this they'll feel horrible but I would just like to clarify that the purpose of these pictures is not to depress people (well kinda). I'm not sadistic and I don't enjoy hurting people in anyway but I want people to think. I mean REALLY think. Think about these people. Think about how they're being hurt. Think about how they've been hurt. Matthew Shepard was murdered because he was gay! For no other reason besides that he was gay! As if being gay is a reason to be hated and in this case even killed! I don't know how people will react to this photo being paired with the the story of Matthew Shepard but I'm kind of hoping that it.....I don't want to say "rip them to shreds" but that's kind of what I want. But I don't want them to just be depressed I want them to try to do something about it. Do anything! Even if it's as small as stop saying "gay" or "faggot" or any other hateful word that is targeted at homosexuals or telling someone else to stop using those words. When I read Matthew's story it destroyed me. I was crying so hard because being bullied and hated for being gay is one thing but being murdered?! It breifly made me lose hope in humanity. But I realized that losing hope and being depressed about something is a horrible thing to do. The thing you need to do is get up and do something about it! And that's what I did. I got up, mourned the murder of Matthew, got angry, and created this shot. I'm only 15 and if taking pictures and doing my art is the only thing I can do I'm going to do it. I can tell you right now that my pictures are more than likely not going to brighten up much at all. I have 3 ideas swirling around in my head right now and the brightest one (which I think I'll be shooting soon) is a family portrait of two gay men and their adopted childeren. Please if my pictures make you feel something, angry, depressed, thankful, anything! Get up and do something about it! Nothing will change immediatly but if we all work together eventually things will change. That's all I want. That's all anyone wants I think: change.

Please check out these links:

Matthew Shepard's Story

Remembering Matthew Shepard and Reflections on October

Judy Shepard's Statement About Her Son's Death 10 Years Later

Rest in Peace

Matthew Shepard

December 1, 1976 - October 12, 1998

#3 Anti-gay Bullying

"Anti-gay Bulling"
9 out of every 10 queer kids are bullied, beaten, and bashed!

The above photo was taken on October 20, 2010. It was also the day where many people wore purple in memory of the recent suicides caused by anti-gay bullying. To learn more about that click here and here. My models are Justin Killingsworth (playing the bully) and Tam Nyguen (playing the victim). I would first like to state that Justin is pro gay rights and that no children were actually punched, bullied, or hurt during this photo shoot. All the bruises were created with make up. The bloody nose was made with fake blood purchased at a halloween store.

There were a few challenges I had to work through with this shoot. The first was trying to get both of my models at the same time. But the two biggest ones were the awkwardness in the air during the shoot. I felt awful asking Justin to pretend to beat Tam up because he would never hurt anyone because they're gay. Another challenge was trying to get Tam to look like she's actually in pain. The last one was a personal challenge: trying to remember that the bruises and blood were only fake and trying to finish the shoot before lunch ended.

In this picture I have Tam sitting on the ground and Justin walking away as if he's finished the beating and is going home. I had Tam wear my rainbow cuff and my other bracelet that says "LOVE" (which you can't see in this picture). The reason why I had her wear those bracelets is because it shows that it's not just any bullying but it's anti-gay bullying. In this picture she was actually holding her hair back because it kept getting in the way of the make up but it works because it looks like she's just holding her face because she's in pain. The location I shot at is in the ally way near classroom 116. I decided to use Tam as the victim because she is sweet, adorable, and so innocent. Another reason is because when bullies find out someone is gay or they think someone's gay they don't care who that person is, they don't care if that person is defenseless or can't fight back they will go after them.

The feeling of this photo is dark, once again. I don't think any photographer could possibly make this image positive in any way. This photo is purposely dark. I want people to look at this picture and see her face and feel horrible. I want them to wish that they could have protected her. I want them to feel her pain. And I want them to want to do something about it! School is suppose to be a safe place for all children! No matter what age, sex, race, or orientation! Every child is supposed to have a safe learning environment.

Links:

http://listown.com/group/wear-purple-october-20-2010-15194

http://gayrights.change.org/blog/view/on_wednesday_wear_purple_and_say_no_to_hate

http://gayrights.change.org/blog/view/anti-gay_bullying_suicides_whos_really_to_blame

Below is a picture of the make up that I did on Tam

Bye